Eagles’ Issues Too Much to Overcome… Again

In this stuffed-to-the-gills Week 14 edition of NFL Walkthrough …

• Kansas City Chiefs wide receiver blunders go supernova in a loss to the Buffalo Bills;
• Joe Flacco’s elite adequacy spoils Trevor Lawrence’s quick return from a high ankle sprain;
• Justin Herbert and C.J. Stroud both get injured; internet may shut down as a result;

And much more. But of course we must kick things off with Saints-Panth — oops, we mean Eagles-Cowboys!

Eagles, Exposed.

The Philadelphia Eagles have a lot of minor problems that add up to one major problem.

The middle of the Eagles pass defense is a minor problem, though it loomed large against the 49ers last week and in Sunday’s 33–13 loss to the Dallas Cowboys. The Eagles cornerbacks are Darius Slay, James Bradberry and Any Warmbody. Slay and Bradberry are not playing as well this year as in years past but remain capable starters. Warmbody, however, has a flashing arrow over his head. 

The rest of the Eagles defense can usually compensate for the team’s problems over the middle. But the Cowboys slid Ceedee Lamb (6-71-1 receiving) all over the formation to force Warmbody (whose alter egos include Bradley Roby and Sydney Brown) to cover him. Tight end Jake Ferguson also delivered a few crushing blows to the heart of the Eagles defense. As for last week, the whole Niners offense is designed to exploit their opponents’ Warmbodies.

The inconsistency of the Eagles offense is also a minor problem. Jalen Hurts has been fumbling at the ends of scrambles (as he did in the first quarter on Sunday) since the season opener against the Patriots. Once a power/option running team, the Eagles spend too many first halves trying to deliver knockout blows. The Eagles are too impatient at the starts of drives and too willing to settle for field goals at the ends of drives. Weekly games of catchup have finally caught up to them. 

There are other minor problems: lack of speed at linebacker (Shaq Leonard, once an All-Pro, may just be another Warmbody), no real third wide receiver (Dallas Goedert’s return at tight end only provided a small boost), a knack for penalties-in-bunches. Their offensive and defensive lines are outstanding — Jalen Carter does something stunning almost every week — but no longer as historically great as they were in 2022. Some of the problems are correctable, and the Eagles can live with most of them and still defeat most of the teams in the NFL. 

The Eagles’ biggest problem, however, is the one that will ultimately ruin their season: The team that has lost two straight games looks almost identical to the team which started 10–1. 

The hole in the middle of the Eagles defense was there all year; even the Commanders found it in their two shootout losses to Philadelphia. So was the fitful, explosions-and-duds offense. The Eagles are just facing tougher opponents and getting fewer breaks than in the first three months of the season. Fumbles aren’t bouncing their way. Ball carriers aren’t stepping out of bounds near the end zone. Opponents are drilling 55-plus yard field goals.

If the Eagles played uncharacteristically against the Cowboys and 49ers, they could expect to bounce back in the playoffs. Unfortunately, they were 100% in character in both games. Top-tier opponents can exploit their weaknesses, and top-tier opponents are the only ones that matter for a team trying to return to the Super Bowl. There is no way the Eagles can beat the Cowboys and the 49ers in the playoffs unless there are all sorts of injuries and unforeseen circumstances in the final month of the regular season. 

You can claim the Eagles have been “exposed” if you like. Most observers have been skeptical of them since early in the season, so it’s hard to determine what has really been exposed. More accurately, the Cowboys and 49ers losses corroborated the evidence from the narrow Chiefs, Bills and earlier Cowboys victories: The Eagles can be beaten by any team with enough playmakers to work the middle of the field (not the Chiefs), a reliable enough defense to limit Hurts heroics (not the Bills) and enough discipline to not beat themselves (neither the Bills nor Chiefs).

The Eagles visit the Seahawks on Monday night in Week 15. After that, they get the Giants, Cardinals and Giants, a chance to fluff their record and soothe a panicky fanbase. The Eagles could still finish 14–3, but they won’t find a third/fourth cornerback or wide receiver good enough to help them in the playoffs in the weeks to come, and little schematic tweaks won’t make much of a difference when it’s time to beat the teams they have to beat. And no one will hold a parade for the Eagles’ win-loss record after they are bounced from the playoffs.

As for the Cowboys, they relied a little too heavily on long field goals and may have gotten a bit lucky with fumble recoveries on Sunday night, but that’s quibbling after a convincing win against a tough opponent to extend a five-game winning streak. Still, all of the blowout victories they can muster will not solve their biggest problem: They are not the 49ers.

Game Spotlight: Buffalo Bills 20, Kansas City Chiefs 17

What Happened

Let’s take things quarter-by-quarter.

First Quarter: “We’re the mighty Bills. We’re still Super Bowl contenders! Look at us intercept  passes! Look at Josh Allen firing lasers and dragging defenders into the end zone! Let’s issue a statement by building a 14–0 lead!”

Second Quarter: “Well, we issued a statement. What should we do for the rest of the afternoon? Get sloppy and allow the Chiefs to come back? Sounds fun!”

Third Quarter: The Chiefs step up to the microphone. “Hey, we’re right back in this game and playing well in all three phases. Best of all, it’s been a while since one of our unreliable wide receivers made a critical mistake, and … oh dear.”

Fourth Quarter: Fate herself grabs the microphone. “I’m bored. Let’s spin my Wacky Random Play Generator. Oooh, it came up ‘Josh Allen Tumbling-Out-of-Bounds Pass to Latavius Murray Who Fumbles But the Bills Retain Possession.’”

“Eh, I can do better. How about ‘Game-Winning Hook-and-Lateral Touchdown from Travis Kelce to Karadius Toney, Except Toney was Offsides.’”

“That’s what you get for trying to upstage Fate herself, little missy Taylor Swift.”

What It Means for the Buffalo Bills

The Bills needed Sunday’s victory to stay in the Wild Card chase. They are now 7–6 overall but 4–5 in the AFC, with troublesome losses to the Broncos and Bengals in their tiebreaker portfolio. Wins by the Broncos, Bengals and Browns hurt the Bills’ playoff chances, though the Texans/Colts/Steelers losses (with none of those teams looking good and C.J. Stroud landing in concussion protocol) will help keep the Bills afloat.

As for how the Bills performed: Any win at Arrowhead is a huge win. The Bills looked like the team they are supposed to be for the first 20 minutes, then coasted on Chiefs mistakes and fluke plays in a game that featured four pivotal replay reviews and Toney’s boneheaded mistake in the second half. 

Like their win over the Jets in Week 11, the Bills’ victory could be categorized as an impressive turning point. It’s also roughly the Bills’ third turning point of the 2023 season, so Walkthrough will reserve judgment, especially with more tough tests on the late-season schedule.

What it Means for the Kansas City Chiefs

Those sloppy, derpy wide receivers are a problem. They were a problem at the start of the year. They are a problem now. They will be a problem in the playoffs. Dropped passes, fumbles after receptions and brain cramps will probably keep the Chiefs from winning the Super Bowl.

What’s Next

The Bills host the Cowboys next week in the ultimate battle of Teams It’s Impossible to Truly Believe In. The Chiefs visit the Patriots in a game that was flexed from Monday Night Football to the Sunday early slot, where it will fit right in among Falcons-Panthers and Giants-Saints.

Week 14 NFL Undercard Roundup

Did you pay so much attention to Week 14’s much-anticipated nationally-televised games that you didn’t catch all the rest of Sunday’s action? Don’t worry: Walkthrough has you covered. 

San Francisco 49ers 28, Seattle Seahawks 16

Drew Lock started in place of Geno Smith (groin) and played well in the first half, giving the 49ers a very brief, very mild scare. Then Christian McCaffrey, Brandon Aiyuk and Deebo Samuel each racked up over 124 scrimmage yards and Nick Bosa recorded 1.5 sacks while Lock threw a pair of fourth-quarter interceptions. 

Brock Purdy also appeared in this game, but my social media feed tells me that 368 Purdy yards must be adjusted down to approximately 184 “real” yards because he’s the only quarterback in the NFL with good playmakers.

At least DK Metcalf battled Fred Warner to a TKO:

Takeaway for the 49ers

Yawn. When do the playoffs start?

Takeaway for the Seahawks

A four-game losing streak leaves them in do-or-die mode next Monday night against the Eagles. The Seahawks played rather well for long stretches of their last two games, both losses (to the Cowboys and 49ers). Unfortunately, “rather well” for “stretches” couldn’t cut it against those opponents, and two losses to the Rams left them with no wiggle room from a playoff tiebreaker standpoint. 

Cleveland Browns 31, Jacksonville Jaguars 27

What Happened

Trevor Lawrence, having miraculously recovered from a high ankle sprain in just six days, started for the Jaguars and had no trouble moving around the pocket. He had trouble connecting with his receivers, however, throwing three interceptions and leading several unproductive early-game drives.

Meanwhile, everyone’s favorite LOLZ quarterback Joe Flacco once again made a high percentage of the throws an NFL starter has to make, including a play-action floater to David Njoku on the opening drive to give the Browns and early lead and a fourth-and-3 dart over the middle to David Bell to take a 28–14 lead.

This game went on longer than the Lord of the Rings trilogy and felt like it had just as much padding in the middle — each team had six possessions in the second quarter alone — but that’s the gist of it.

Takeaway for the Browns

The Browns will reach the playoffs. They are more talented than the Colts, have better tiebreaker scenarios than the Bengals and Bills and are more willing to manufacture points than the Steelers, whose offense now consists of failing to execute basic plays, then pretending that’s the way it’s supposed to look. Also, Myles Garrett (shoulder) and Amari Cooper (ribs) appear to be playing their way back to full health. 

Browns coach Kevin Stefanski named Flacco his starting quarterback for the rest of the season. Flacco (who mixes plenty of senior moments among his highlights) is sure to tail off, but Tailing-Off Flacco might still be more effective than Typical Trubisky.

Takeaway for the Jaguars

They will win the AFC South by default (keep reading) and go one-and-done in the playoffs. You know, just like we thought they would when training camp started. 

Baltimore Ravens 37, Los Angeles Rams 31 (OT)

What Happened

The Rams ran the ball well early and got the Matthew Stafford/Puka Nacua/Cooper Kupp circus rolling late. The Ravens produced splashy plays on both sides of the ball but also did vintage Ravens things: a bad snap that resulted in a safety, some settling for short field goals, a few inopportune dropped passes. On the plus side, the Ravens did successfully execute a crucial two-point conversion for the first time in living memory. 

A 76-yard Tylan Wallace punt return touchdown in overtime sealed the win for the Ravens. When in doubt, count on the Ravens special teams to make a difference.

Takeaway for the Ravens

They’re the best team in the AFC, despite their habit of making things difficult for themselves. The Chiefs loss positions the Ravens to clinch homefield advantage in the playoffs, and Dolphins-Ravens on New Year’s Eve will likely have huge ramifications. 

Takeaway for the Rams

They are playing well, and they host the Commanders and Saints before visiting the Giants over the next three weeks. If fretting over who the NFC’s third Wild-Card team will be is your bag, don’t sleep on the Rams. If you couldn't possibly care less, Walkthrough doesn’t blame you but does envy you.

New York Jets 30, Houston Texans 6

What Happened

After a scoreless snooze of a first half, reluctant debutante Zach Wilson proved just athletic enough to roll away from the Texans pass rush and just competent enough to connect with Garrett Wilson (9 catches, 108 yards) in the second half. Meanwhile the Jets defense absolutely smothered the Texans offense in a steady downpour, with 10 passes defensed according to the official gamebook. 

C.J. Stroud suffered an apparent concussion on a brutal late-game hit, because the Jets aren’t content with making life miserable only for their fans and now want to ruin things for all of us.

Takeaway for the Texans

Stroud is outstanding but not “ready to beat the Jets defense on the road in the rain with Nico Collins and Tank Dell injured” outstanding. The Texans lack the pure talent on both sides of the ball to be more than a one-and-done playoff team.

Takeaway for the Jets

Aaron Rodgers is formulating a way to make Sunday’s victory all about him as you read this.

Denver Broncos 24, Los Angeles Chargers 7

What Happened

Justin Herbert suffered an injury to his throwing hand, transforming the Chargers from a bad team with a talented-but-overrated quarterback to a horrible team with scrambly Easton Stick at quarterback. Stick didn’t really move the offense until the Chargers trailed by 17 points in the fourth quarter. The Broncos took advantage of an early-game Herbert interception to score a quick touchdown and played keepaway for the rest of the afternoon

Takeaway for the Broncos 

The Broncos have now vulture’d wins off the Josh Dobbs Vikings, P.J. Walker/Dorian Thompson-Robinson Browns and the Stick-tastic Chargers. They get the Chargers again and Raiders down the stretch. They could easily end the season with 10 wins and a playoff berth. Are the circumstances a little fluky/sticky? Perhaps. Are there lots of teams kicking themselves for not beating the backup quarterbacks on their schedules? You better believe it. 

Takeaway for the Chargers

Herbert has a fractured right index finger. He’s likely out for Thursday night’s game against the Raiders at the very least. 

Brandon Staley’s employment status has dipped from “99.999% chance of getting fired on Black Monday” to “30% chance of getting fired before you read this.”

Minnesota Vikings 3, Las Vegas Raiders 0

What Happened

This game has been postponed until Wednesday at 5:45 AM Eastern.

Wait, Walkthrough is being told that this game actually happened. Furthermore, Justin Jefferson returned from a hamstring injury only to suffer a chest injury, while Josh Dobbs was benched in favor of Nick Mullens. Are we sure those things didn’t happen at, like, a joint practice or something?

Takeaway for the Vikings

The Vikings remain in the NFC playoff hunt. Eleven middle-aged dudes playing pickup outside the stadium while waiting for the brats to cook could also remain in the NFC playoff hunt at this point. 

(Takeaway for the Raiders canceled due to extreme lack of interest.)

Cincinnati Bengals 34, Indianapolis Colts 14

What Happened

Jake Browning is the new Josh Dobbs! Browning threw for 275 yards and two touchdowns, plus one rushing touchdown, despite briefly being forced out of the game with a finger injury. Don’t worry about Browning’s pick-6 or ask how many of those yards came on screens to Chase Brown and Joe Mixon against a Colts defense built for narrow wins over the Patriots/Panthers/Titans. Just enjoy the ride.

Takeaway for the Colts

Every NFL season produces a team that looks pretty good so long as you pay absolutely no attention to them. The Colts are that team.

Takeaway for the Bengals

An 0–4 divisional record, a 3–6 record against AFC opponents and an end-of-season slate against that features the Steelers (in Pittsburgh), Chiefs (in Kansas City) and Browns will likely doom the Bengals’ late playoff push. Also, BrowningMania will fade in a week or two the way DobbsMania did, because that’s how hot streaks by backup quarterbacks work.

Wait, those are not fun, attention-grabbing takeaways. Let’s try again…

Takeaway for the Bengals

My latest at The Messenger: FIVE POTENTIAL TRADE SUITORS FOR JOE BURROW. 

Chicago Bears 28, Detroit Lions 14

What Happened

DJ Moore (88 scrimmage yards, 2 touchdowns) and Justin Fields (223 passing yards, 58 rushing yards) executed a two-on-two pickup basketball offense while Jared Goff and the Lions offense produced three more turnovers (that’s 10 in their last four games) and went 1-of-5 on fourth-down conversions.

Takeaway for the Lions

No matter what you think of the 49ers, Cowboys and Eagles, it’s clear that the Lions are not even remotely close to being in the same category. Furthermore, anyone who thinks extending Goff’s contract is a good idea after what we’ve seen in the last month needs to have their checkbook taken away.

Takeaway for the Bears

Moore would be thought of as a cross between Deebo Samuel and Tyreek Hill if he ever found himself in a fully functional offense. At the same time, Fields keeps playing well enough to demonstrate that he deserves to be an opening-day starter somewhere in 2024.

NFC South Junior Varsity Theater

What Happened

Younghoe Koo, arguably the Falcons’ 2023 MVP, missed two field goals. The Falcons offense negated some Drake London and Bijan Robinson heroics with their usual sampler platter of hilarious blunders. The Buccaneers ran the ball efficiently for the first time since 2019. Baker Mayfield found Cade Otton in the back of the end zone at the end of a 75-yard two-minute drive to secure a 29–25 Buccaneers win.

The Saints s-l-o-w-l-y pulled away from the Panthers, who went 1-of-7 on fourth down conversions and committed lots of preseason-worthy blunders (encroachment on a Saints fourth-and-1 punt attempt, having a punt blocked for a touchdown, open receivers slipping and falling on fourth-and-short, etc.) for a 28–6 victory that was not as impressive as the score suggests.

Takeaway for the NFC South

Florida State should be granted the division title. 

Week 14 Awards

Time to hand out the most coveted trophies in all of sports…

Defender of the Week

Vikings linebacker Ivan Pace recorded 13 total tackles, one sack and this game-clinching interception in a 3–0 victory over the Raiders:

Now that you have seen that highlight, you don’t have to think about anything else that happened in that game (except Justin Jefferson’s injury).

Also, Walkthrough likes to hand out an Undrafted Rookie of the Year award in Week 18 or so. The balloting is over. Pace wins. 

Offensive Line of the Week

Bengals running backs may have churned out just 104 rushing yards on 29 carries, but two of Jake Browning’s biggest pass plays came on screens. Browning was also not sacked at all by the Colts defense. So let’s hear it for the not-so-secret secret to the Bengals’ success over the last six days: the veteran offensive line of Orlando Brown, Cordell Volson, Ted Karras, Alex Cappa and Jonah Williams. 

Special Teamer of the Week

Tylan Wallace had never returned an NFL punt before Sunday. He returned just four punts for 22 yards in four seasons at Oklahoma State. But when veteran return man Devin Duvernay suffered a back injury, Wallace was the next man up.

Jim Harbaugh, speaking after the game: “Did I think he was gonna take it back to the house? No. But I thought he’d catch it, maybe make a guy miss. And you could see how tough it was to catch those punts out there. That was an amazing event.” 

Best Supporting Actor in Someone Else’s Highlight

Lamar Jackson and Aaron Donald look like Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers in this highlight, which forces us to ask the question: Is Donald the star and Jackson the supporting performer, or vice versa?

You know what? It doesn’t matter. Zay Flowers wins BSASEH for turning a ballet into a slapstick comedy by dropping Jackson’s pass.

Honorable mention goes to Jake Browning’s family rooting in the luxury box after his touchdown pass to Tanner Hudson.

Did you notice the bored-looking beardo in the back, walking to his right and taking what appears to be a sip of his drink instead of cheering for the score? You did not notice? Why not?

Burn This Play! (Sponsored by the Atlanta Falcons)

Let’s take a long look at Antoine Winfield’s strip-sack of Desmond Ridder for a second quarter safety.

The first thing you should notice: Arthur Smith called a slow-developing play-action pass that required Desmond Ridder to drop all the way back into the end zone from his own 8-yard line. It’s as if Smith added the unnecessary safety risk because he needed something to make him feel more alive.

The second thing you should notice: Kyle Pitts is not on the field. MyCole Pruitt is at tight end, with Keith Smith at fullback and Scotty Miller at wide receiver across from Drake London. But we learned months ago that Smith thinks he’s coaching a peewee soccer team where everyone gets equal playing time.

Now for that extra Falcons spice: Where is Ridder supposed to go with the football? There are only three receivers running patterns. Ridder rolls to his right before setting. Miller runs an in-breaking route to the left. Bijan Robinson just drizzles into the flat. Ridder appears to be looking for London on a deep over route.

So Smith called a play where: a) Ridder must set to pass in his own end zone, despite the offense having some breathing room; and then b) wait for a slow-developing route to develop; c) with no real checkdown option; d) with extra-non-threatening personnel on the field besides London and Bijan, lest the Buccaneers think twice before committing to a cornerback blitz.

You would think that the Falcons offense is so bafflingly anti-coordinated that opponents would at least be confused and unable to predict what will happen next. Well, Carlton Davis is here to tell you that you would be wrong:

Rando of the Week

The Cleveland Browns coaching staff needs to work harder to protect Jerome Ford from the Gatorade barrel. Or maybe they need to protect the barrel from Jerome Ford:

Sorry, the only coach Walkthrough could identify in that clip is Santa-bearded Stump Mitchell, who applied the emergency brake to defender Foyesade Oluokun just before there was a need for a cleanup at Aisle 10.

Hydration is too important for a playoff team to leave anything to chance. The Browns should hire someone to defend their Gatorade at all costs: a Quicker Picker Upper Coach.

Sounds like the perfect job for Deshaun Watson.