Can We Cancel the 2024 Election and Outsource the Oval Office Until 2028?

For the 2024 presidential election to get any more bizarre, Joe Biden and Donald Trump would have to gain the ability to levitate themselves and speak in tongues. These are the heavyweight combatants for the “Main Event” for 2024, Biden for the Democrats and Trump for the Republicans. But the popularity of this event seems to be waning by the day. The reality is, next year’s elections are beginning to look like an outlandish version of “Saturday Night Live” skits.

On one hand, we have a candidate — President Biden — whose cognitive abilities, probably related to aging, have caused some to ask whether he should run again. And what happens if he becomes further entangled in the investigation into his son Hunter’s, business dealings? A deal is pending to allow Hunter to plead guilty to two counts of failing to pay taxes.

On the other hand, we have a major candidate — former President Trump — whose next residence might end up being “Mar-a-Jailo.” His political action committee has already spent more than $40 million on legal fees this year, money that reportedly came mostly from small-dollar donations. Trump’s legal troubles keep mounting, but he isn’t dropping in the polls with GOP voters.

All of this is happening as serious issues — crime, inflation, fentanyl trafficking and overdoses, crumbling infrastructure in cities, failing public schools, and perhaps a looming banking crisis — threaten to disrupt Americans’ lives, and the entire world sweats out the possibility of a nuclear conflict being triggered by Russia’s war in Ukraine. Meanwhile, the 2022 National Defense Strategy warns that China is America’s most consequential strategic competitor.

If any or all of this doesn’t make you feel a little panicky, you’re not paying close enough attention. Sure, ignorance may be bliss, but it can easily morph into being your worst enemy.

To be sure, the “undercard” to the Biden-Trump main event has some promising pugilists. But as of now, none is getting much traction.

On the Democratic side, some appear to be warming up to the idea of California Gov. Gavin Newsom riding to the rescue of the party. Among some populists, there are voters who are more intrigued by the campaign of Robert F. Kennedy Jr.

Newsom’s major obstacle is that Biden is still a declared candidate and the presumptive frontrunner for the Democratic primary. Kennedy’s major obstacle is that some in his party and in the mainstream media appear to be trying to smear him into irrelevancy, often easily helped by Kennedy's own statements.

On the Republican side, Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis inexplicably has been making rookie campaign mistakes, which in turn may give some of his donors second thoughts or feelings of buyer’s remorse. Behind DeSantis at the moment is rising star Vivek Ramaswamy, the multimillionaire entrepreneur whose vision is reaching some voters, but most still consider him more likely to be a potential vice presidential or Cabinet secretary pick at this point. Behind Ramaswamy are South Carolinians Nikki Haley, the former governor, and Sen. Tim Scott — both of whom trail Trump in the latest polls in their home state.

What are people who are desperate for real leadership to do? Could we, perhaps, outsource the Oval Office for one term? Would someone with a diplomatic or business outlook do a better job running things than a politician?

Maybe we could contract with a reputable global management firm and a few top executive search firms to identify the most pressing needs of our nation, and then help whittle down applicants for the top job. Or we could go “old school” and set up a national radio show where, say, the seventh caller each week gets a chance to lead our nation. 

Seriously, how much worse could that be, when you consider some of the ridiculous political situations that have occurred in recent years?

Fictional president Andrew Shepherd got it right when he told the press in the movie The American President: “America isn’t easy. America is advanced citizenship. You gotta want it bad,’cause it’s gonna put up a fight. …We have serious problems to solve and we need serious people to solve them.”

Indeed, never have we needed more serious people to solve America’s serious problems. Maybe advanced AI could bring President Shepherd to life and we could install him in the Oval Office until this presidential-election insanity passes us by.

Douglas MacKinnon served in the White House as a writer for Presidents Ronald Reagan and George H.W. Bush and afterward in a joint command at the Pentagon.