Bruce Willis’ Wife Emma, Caregivers and the Emotional Toll of Taking Care of Loved Ones

Emma Heming Willis calls herself a “care partner” for her husband, Bruce Willis. 

The 68-year-old actor’s family shared in February that he had been diagnosed with frontotemporal dementia. Emma Willis, 44, has since been sharing her caregiving experiences on social media, opening up about the pain of watching her husband’s condition worsen, and the toll it has taken on everyone close to them.

 “I don’t want it to be misconstrued that, like, I’m good. Because I’m not. I’m not good,” she said in one August video. “But I have to put my best foot forward for the sake of myself and my family.”

Under every post, comments have flooded in with messages from people who have had similar experiences. 

“As caregivers, all we can do is our best. Most of us have no training in this,” one Instagram user commented. “This is a tough journey.” 

Emma Willis’ experience is a microcosm of what happens for many who act as caregivers for their loved ones, according to psychiatric-mental health nurse practitioner Roger Rivera, DNP. 

“Being a caregiver is a never ending job,” Rivera says. “It depends on the situation but oftentimes, if the patient is completely debilitated, you’re doing everything for them. It’s changing the course of their life. All of a sudden, your life is revolving around somebody else. So there’s challenges that’ll occur in taking care of oneself.” 

A common thread among many caregivers is a feeling of guilt when it comes to taking care of themselves. Shouldn’t their whole focus be on taking care of their loved one in need? 

“It’s not being selfish,” Rivera says. “One of the biggest challenges is understanding  the self-care component. You have to have time for yourself, as well.” 

It’s all about balance, he adds. While focusing on the person in need is important, making sure to take time for yourself is a vital part of the process, too. 

Rivera recommends looking for realistic, small moments where you can allow yourself even 10 or 15 minutes of doing something for yourself.  That could be some easy yoga poses while your loved one is sleeping, or stepping away briefly to go on a walk or call a therapist. 

Leaning on your own support system is important, too. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) recommends being direct with your network of support about what you need help with, such as saying, “It would be really helpful for me if you could stay with Mom Tuesday night so I can go to my book club for two hours.”

“Communicate openly: ‘I need help,’ ‘I can’t do this alone,’” Rivera concurs. “They can help you arrange those extended breaks that you need.” 

Earlier this year, Willis shared a video on Instagram of herself taking a 30-minute hike after one of their children told her to “get out and touch the grass.” 

Despite guilt, she’s spoken about the importance of trying to live a life that brings her joy, even while facing devastating moments on a regular basis. 

“Today I made time to do something I used to love doing — a 30 min hike and it made all [the] difference,” Willis wrote. “They are giving me the permission, almost begging me to make time for myself and I need to shhhh, listen and just go.”