Transgender Day of Remembrance: Stars Share Who They’re Thinking of Today (Exclusive)

Transgender Day of Remembrance (TDOR) is celebrated annually on Nov. 20 and "honors the memory of the transgender people whose lives were lost in acts of anti-transgender violence," per GLAAD. The day was founded in 1999 by advocate Gwendolyn Ann Smith to honor Rita Hester, a trans woman who was killed the year prior. TDOR follows the annual Trans Awareness Week, which brings visibility to transgender people and issues the community faces.

One of the most urgent issues raised during this week is anti-trans violence, which still claims a staggering number of lives annually. According to the Human Rights Campaign, at least 33 transgender and gender-nonconforming people in the U.S. have been killed in the last twelve months. In 2022, a total of 41 trans people died from violence committed against them.

The Messenger asked several notable trans artists and performers to share who they'll be thinking of this year for Transgender Day of Remembrance. Here's what they said:

Trace Lysette, star of Monica

On this TDOR I am remembering Amanda Milan… who was a ballroom queen in New York City. Her life was tragically taken too soon at the hands of violence near the Port Authority Bus Terminal in June of 2000. She was harassed and stabbed in the neck. Trans murders weren’t a new thing… but the rallying cry that came after Amanda was different. The community stood up and decided to speak out. 

23 years later here we are… still speaking out. Amanda and I are both ballroom girls with roots in New York City. Navigating the attention you get as a transsexual woman on any given day on the street in NYC can be a dance with life and death. I dream of a world where we are free from that feeling. Where we can be carefree from the gaze of men who both desire us and sometimes, because of their shame or the shame from society, also want to hurt us.

Lennon Torres, formerly of Dance Moms

Trans people consistently demonstrate strength because something as simple as going to the grocery store or going on a date can be an act of tremendous bravery. Whenever I’m asked about trans people whose lives have a great personal impact on me, I immediately think about the people who weren’t memorialized in pop culture.

This year, I am holding space to remember those people and honoring the impact of more known stories, like the story told in 'Boys Don’t Cry' about Brandon Teena. Brandon faced many gut-wrenching circumstances that ultimately led to him relocating and starting a new life away from family. This took more strength than I will ever know, and it leaves me without words that his life ended in the wake of such horrid crimes and hatred: rape and murder. This, and the sexual abuse he endured as a young boy, are part of the catalyst that brought me to the career path I have chosen for myself.

As campaign manager for a corporate pressure campaign calling on Apple to detect and remove child sexual abuse on iCloud, I have learned about abuse that kids face and it makes me sick. I plan to dedicate the rest of my life to making the lives of young kids, and especially young trans kids like Brandon, free from humanity's worst crimes.

Gigi Gorgeous, YouTube creator

This year, I will be remembering all of my transgender brothers and sisters across the world who are no longer here with us. The trans community at large has faced and continues to face great hardship and discrimination and they deserve to be recognized and uplifted every day. I transitioned nearly ten years ago, and every story, every life, and every trans person I meet and hear about inspires me to empower the younger generations of trans youth out there. Today and every day, I am thinking of those who paved the way before me, and I hope that I can continue to inspire with my own efforts and activism.

Dominique Jackson, star of Pose

I remember all of my trans siblings that were brutally murdered. It is a time with many pockets of sadness for me. I constantly have to reaffirm myself that yes we do belong here during these times. The person that I remember, mostly every year, is Muhlaysia Booker. We were filming Candy’s life celebration when we were sitting in the trailer and got the news that she was murdered. This really hit me hard — because just weeks before, she was brutally attacked over a car accident and it went viral. I believed in the moment that because her attack went viral, the visibility would bring change and she would be safe and protected, but I was wrong. The news of her surviving her attack and then weeks laterbeing murdered spoke volumes to the [lack of] safety of my trans-sisters and myself. I was in a state of fear and panic and hired a personal bodyguard. It made me feel that even though we were visible, we did fight back and use our voices, people would still harm us. It was a very awakening moment for me and I will never forget it.

With reporting by Amanda Williams and Brody Brown