‘The Ultimatum: Queer Love’ Star Vanessa Papa Knows She’s at the Center of Controversy (Exclusive)

The influencer explains that disastrous date with Lexi Goldberg and why she mouthed 'f— off' to girlfriend Xander Boger during the Choice.


The Correct the Edit franchise lets reality TV stars tell their side of the story about what really happened behind the scenes, including moments that didn't make the final cut. Here, we catch up with The Ultimatum: Queer Love star Vanessa Papa to talk about what she regrets most from the season.

Warning: The following contains spoilers for The Ultimatum: Queer Love.

Vanessa Papa came onto The Ultimatum: Queer Love confident. After dating girlfriend Xander Boger — whom she'd met in high school, when their boyfriends were best friends — for four years, Boger was ready to propose. And while Papa wasn't sure if marriage was for her, she knew that dating around would be, telling the camera in Episode 1, "people fall in love with me pretty easily."

But that all came crashing down after a particularly disastrous date with Lexi Goldberg, who even labeled her "Voldemort" afterwards.

"I was truly bewildered," Papas exclusively told The Messenger. "I never understood what really set her off."

Below, Papa dishes on the first four episodes of The Ultimatum: Queer Love — which arrived on Netflix on May 24 — including her villain edit, her flirtationship with Mal and if she regrets that shocking "F-bomb" during The Choice. 

On relationship potential between her and Mal… 

Mal and I had about three dates, and I definitely thought Mal was into me. Mal would say things like, "That's my wife." After our date ended, she would look into the camera and go, "That's my wife." I honestly felt very overwhelmed by her because I felt like she was so sure that she wanted to keep dating me. But then, at some point, she just stopped choosing me to go on dates with. I'm sure she connected with someone else better. All is fair and love and war, right? But I absolutely would've continued dating Mal if given the option. 

On mouthing "f— off" to Xander during The Choice…

Being with someone for four years and knowing them for 17 years, I feel like I knew everything about Xander. So, I'm having this moment of her casually saying, "I dated someone like Rae." I have never heard her speak about whoever this was. So either she's lying on TV — I don't even know what the point of that would be, but to say, "I've dated someone like Rae before" — or there's someone she's dated and she's never told me about, which then makes me think, "Why are you keeping this a secret?" And it was just like, "F— you."

To bring me on here, and this is how you're telling me something? And then I was saying, "Who is it? Is it this girl? Is it this girl?" And she was still not giving any answers or any clarity leaving me in the dark — her partner of four years who she wants to marry. I was pissed off!

Honestly, I look back and it's super cringey. I shouldn't have said that, but I was super intense in my emotions then, and it was just very real and raw. 

On regretting her one-night stand with Rae…

Hooking up with Rae wasn't necessary — we felt that then, and I think she and I both feel that now. We got drunk, we had a super fun night, and something ended up happening. But it wasn't like either of us were like, "Let's take our romantic relationship to the next level." It didn't need to happen, so I regret that. 

And on that shocking date with Lexi…

Being on the show, you experience so much more than what ends up being able to be shown. The conversation that I was having with Lexi when things went completely awry, I was truly bewildered. I didn't understand it, and I experienced the full conversation! What you guys get to see is just the edited version, but even in the full conversation, I never understood what really set her off. Then, it just spiraled into her disliking me more and more and more, and as much as I tried to dig myself out of that hole and befriend her, she wasn't having it. 

I wish everyone saw the full conversation so that they could also maybe be confused or maybe bring me some clarity, because I still don't know! I don't know if it was talking about how I don't know if I wanna get married — I was saying that I'm in this four-year relationship and it kind of feels stale and maybe I need to go kiss someone else — that might have thrown her off. I get it. I say crazy s—, but I'm very honest.

The Ultimatum: Queer Love is streaming now on Netflix.

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