‘Strays’ Review: The Most Irritating Film of 2023

Everyone has looked at an animal and wondered what it would be like to hear its thoughts — even Melania Trump. Strays, the puerile and putrid new film from Barb and Star Go To Vista Del Mar director Josh Greenbaum may make you glad that this will forever be the realm of fantasy.

I can show you my Instagram algorithm to prove how much I love looking at cute dogs doing wacky things. But five minutes into Strays, I was itching to scroll away to something — anything! — else. The premise is that a li’l guy named Reggie (voiced with wide-eyed charm by Will Ferrell) has a cruel owner called Doug (Will Forte), but because dogs are loyal, Reggie doesn't realize he's constantly being abandoned. Finally, after a really long drive from the sticks into an unnamed city, Reggie can't find his way home.

Luckily he meets another stray, the streetwise Bug (voiced by Jamie Foxx), who introduces him to some local dogs like Hunter (Randall Park), a therapy dog who himself needs therapy, and Maggie (Isla Fisher), whose owner is more focused on a new puppy. Together the quartet vow to somehow find Doug and chew off his sex organ.

Word is that 95% of the shots in the film are not computer generated, so I appreciate the efforts of everyone who worked on this movie from an animal-wrangling point of view. Sadly, the wall-to-wall poop, boner and vomit jokes render the rest of the movie just plain gross.

"What makes a movie funny?" is obviously subjective, but ask any great chef, and they'll tell you to use your strong spices sparingly. An adorable pup dropping an F-bomb can be used quite well in a scene. When that's all you do for 95 straight minutes, it isn't clever. It's just immature, annoying and representative of a lack of imagination. Watching Strays is agony.

Also! The movie doesn't make any sense!! Half the time, the gag is that the dogs are hip to everything about how humans live (they know the phrase "BFF," for example), but the next minute they are clueless animals who think chocolate is made from excrement. I can't believe I am bothering to complain about the stupid "dogs that cuss" movie, but someone really should have smacked this screenplay on the snout with a rolled-up newspaper.

But the pooches are cute, no denying that. 3.9/10

In Theaters: Aug. 18, 2023

Who's in it: Will Ferrell, Jamie Foxx, Isla Fisher, Randall Park (voices), Will Forte (as a human), so much fake (I hope) dog crap

Who's behind it: Josh Greenbaum (director), Dan Perrault (writer), Phil Lord and Christopher Miller (producers)

For fans of: Boners, barf, pee and poop

Avoid if: You aren't twelve