Meghan McCain Reflects on the ‘Darkness of Grief’ 5 Years After Dad John McCain’s Death

Meghan McCain misses her father every single day.

Exactly five years after Senator John McCain died following a battle with brain cancer, his daughter is reflecting on her journey of grieving in the spotlight. 

"Five years ago today I couldn't possibly imagine how I was going to keep on living — the pain was so primal and raw and quite frankly I didn't think the world could still have light without my Dad in it," Meghan wrote on Instagram Friday. "Our lives were so intertwined, not only as father and daughter, but with his legendary career in politics that he always gave me the privilege of being a part of and accompanying him."

According to Meghan, she was able to visit any town hall or campaign event she wanted and soak up valuable lessons about the world of politics and the media. 

But when her father was diagnosed with glioblastoma, Meghan knew her life wouldn't be the same. The Arizona Senator eventually passed away from his cancer on Aug. 25, 2018.

"I grieved very hard and very publicly," the former View co-host wrote alongside photos from her father's funeral. "It was very different than most waspy political people. Some were very critical... however, to this day, the thing most people want to talk to me about is grief, death and giving eulogies."

"To those in the depths of the darkness of grief: be kind to yourself, scream, cry, get help of all kinds, reach out to friends, family, therapists — grief counseling saved me but it's a process and be patient," Meghan continued. "You are not alone. Sometimes you really have to take it hour by hour, even minute by minute."

As Meghan continues raising two children with her husband Ben Domenech, the best-selling author said the pain does get quieter even if it never quite goes away. 

"It's like a deep scar you carry with you and some days it hurts more than others," she explained. "That being said, you do learn to live with the part that goes missing."

Meghan also said she's fortunate to still hear and feel her father's presence as she begins a new chapter of her life. 

"I am grateful for the good, the bad, the pain, and the happiness and everything in between," she wrote. "Every single second of life is a gift and tomorrow is not guaranteed. Hold close to those you love, and as for me, today, I choose happiness because it's what he wanted. I love you Dad, I know I will see you again someday. Also thank you for telling me to have children, you were right about everything."