Jill Duggar Says Reality TV Nearly Ruined Her and Husband Derick Dillard’s Marriage

Jill Dillard (née Duggar) is opening up about how her family's reality TV shows, 19 Kids and Counting and Counting On, nearly ruined her and husband Derick Dillard's marriage. 

"It caused a lot of frustration in our marriage," Jill told People while promoting her new book, Counting the Cost. "Especially early on, where he would feel a certain way about filming something. I'd be like, 'I hear you, I feel you, I also don't want to do whatever it is they're asking us to do either. But we have to.'"

In the couple's new book – which explores their time on the hit TLC shows – Jill also revealed that she did not want to continue filming after she and Derick tied the knot in 2014, noting that they wanted to start their own life, their own family and not be obligated to film 20 hours a week. 

The mom of three also went into detail about being a part of the Institute in Basic Life Principles (IBLP) religion and being raised to always do what your parents say – even in adulthood, which made it hard to stand up to family patriarch Jim Bob Duggar about not wanting to film anymore.

"It definitely got between us. No matter your age, you are to obey your parents' wishes and you even have to ask them for their blessing for any major moment in your life," Jill explained, while Derick alleged that Jim Bob "would say things that would be very damaging" when they were "at odds with what her dad thought we should be doing with filming."

He continued: "He would weaponize the relationship and say, 'Is this you Jill, or is this you, Derek? Are you leading your wife astray and doing things that are not supportive of marriage?' And I think that was a red flag."

Noting that she took a step back to reflect on how "deeply" she and Derick were in an argument over the show at one point, Jill added, "When I saw how it was affecting our marriage, I think that was another wake-up call for me. It was like, okay, we need to either fight this battle together, or it's going to rip us apart. So yeah, we had to join forces at that point."

Though the couple have distanced themselves from Jim Bob and his wife Michelle – who said in a statement that they "do not believe the best way to resolve conflicts, facilitate forgiveness and reconciliation, or to communicate through difficulties is through the media or in a public forum so we will not comment" – Jill's new memoir is far from the first time she's spoken out about her family upbringing and the impact it's had on her life. 

In June, she appeared in the four-part Amazon Prime docuseries, Shiny Happy People: Duggar Family Secrets, alongside cousin Amy King (née Duggar) to speak about their connection to the IBLP religion. Jill also claimed that she and Derick were not paid for appearing on 19 Kids and Counting and Counting On, which played a part in their exit. 

Jill isn't the only Duggar to criticize her family's upbringing in IBLP. Sister Jinger Vuolo (née Duggar) released a memoir in January titled Becoming Free Indeed: My Story of Disentangling Faith from Fear, in which she detailed the controversial religion's "cult-like" teachings.

Counting the Cost hits bookshelves on Sept. 12.