Elliot Page Details ‘Getting Closer to My Desires’ in First Chapter of Memoir

Elliot Page is telling his story. 

The Umbrella Academy star released the first chapter of his memoir, Pageboy, which details his first time "being in a queer space and being present, enjoying it," all while navigating his identity in private. 

"I didn't think I could write a book," Page, who shared the first chapter with People, told the outlet of penning Pageboy. "Books, particularly memoirs, have really shifted my life, offered me inspiration, comfort, been humbling, all of those things. And I think this period of not just hate, of course, but misinformation or just blatant lies about LGTBQ+ lives, about our healthcare, it felt like the right time. Trans and queer stories are so often picked apart, or worse, universalized. So the first chapter of Pageboy, I just sat down, and it came out and I just didn't stop. I just kept writing."

Noting his connection with a woman named Paula when he was 20 years old, the actor recalled a defining moment while dancing at a gay bar for the first time. Page wrote, "Shame had been drilled into my bones since I was my tiniest self, and I struggled to rid my body of that old toxic and erosive marrow. But there was a joy in the room, it lifted me, forced a reaction in the jaw, an uncontrolled, steady smile."

He continued, "We stared at each other, a quiet knowing. Here I was on the precipice. Getting closer to my desires, my dreams, me, without the unbearable weight of the self-disgust I'd carried for so long. But a lot can change in a few months. And in a few months, Juno would premiere."

Last December, Page shared the cover of his memoir on Instagram, calling being photographed by acclaimed photographer Catherine Opie "a joyful experience that I will never forget."

The actor concluded, "Trans people are facing increasing attacks, from physical violence to the banning of healthcare, and our humanity is regularly 'debated' in the media. The act of writing, reading, and sharing the multitude of our experiences is an important step in standing up to those who wish to silence and harm us. Books have helped me, saved me even, so I hope this can help someone feel less alone, feel seen, no matter who they are or what path they are on."

Pageboy hits bookshelves Friday, June 2.